As each day passes, we are getting closer and closer to meeting our bouncing baby boy. Literally. This kid moves around like crazy. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when his temporary home begins getting cramped. I will probably receive quite a few punches in the ribs or bladder.
But I cherish each of those bouncing little movements, and I fret when he has a quiet day. My favorite moments are when I wake up in the morning and I place my hand on my growing belly to feel him moving around. I like to think he is a happy little guy, showing me a little love before I start my day. I love sitting in his room, planning on where we will put his crib and changing table, and having discussions with the hubs about whether we want to invest in a recliner or a glider. I cradle the outfits we have in my arms, just imagining what it will be like to have my baby boy there instead.
And with each passing day, this whole “having a child” thing becomes more real. I’m going to be a mom. Me, a mom. I still can’t quite wrap my head around the idea. Am I seriously cut out for this? Waking up multiple times in the night; having to feed, bathe, nurture and entertain a teeny human all day long; ditching spur-of-the-moment date nights with Brett or no longer spending an entire afternoon curled up on the couch reading a book.
I wonder what our pets are going to think of this new addition. I have played YouTube videos of infants crying, hoping they will get used to the sound. But as they just glance at my phone and continue on with their happy lives, I think they are going to have a much easier time adjusting than I will. It sends a chill down my spine thinking about how our entire lives — this cushy, fun, fantastic life built for two and four furbabies — is going to be turned upside down by one tiny human.
I’ve heard the stories about how life is never the same again. I worry that this is going to change my relationship with Brett; a relationship that I consider to be incredibly solid and the best thing to happen to me so far. But when I think about how we created this little person together and how I have already seen the love Brett has for our little guy, it only makes me love my husband more. And my intuition tells me that this next step is going to only make our relationship even stronger.
I’m pretty certain there are going to be days where I will be the frazzled mom and nagging wife, and that Brett will be grumpy and tired. I know I’m going to have to stop myself from being the “helicopter mom.” And I know I’m terrified, to the point I will ask Brett on occasion if we are ready for this. But I’m beginning to realize that no matter how many books I read or parenting websites I visit, I’m not going to be completely “ready.” I have taken my mom’s words of wisdom to heart about how we will learn as we go along and that we will figure it all out. It’s hard to fathom at the moment, but as I feel that little person bouncing around in my belly, I know that it will all be worth it. I may come out of this two pant sizes larger (I hope not, but I’m not ruling it out) and in need of copious amounts of caffeine to get through the day, but I’m more than happy to do that to bring this Baby B into the world. Because, according to all the parents I know, no matter how scary and difficult being a parent is, it’s the best thing that has happened to them. And despite all my worries and fears, I’m ready for that.